’)
Friday, September 3, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
The Bed Intruder
This has been making rounds on the Internet lately:
I mean, there's a rapist on the loose, which sucks, but this guy is just awesome. Too awesome. He even has his own website (www.antoine-dodson.com)
There's also an auto-tuned song that's absolutely GENIUS. It's incredibly catchy and more hilarious than the actual interview and is now available on iTunes.
I mean, there's a rapist on the loose, which sucks, but this guy is just awesome. Too awesome. He even has his own website (www.antoine-dodson.com)
There's also an auto-tuned song that's absolutely GENIUS. It's incredibly catchy and more hilarious than the actual interview and is now available on iTunes.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Bro Rape: A Newsline Investigative Report (Derrick Comedy)
Bet you've never heard of Derrick Comedy, but you might have seen a few of their members on various TV shows such as Saturday Night Live and Community. Check out one of their funniest parodies of NBC's Dateline series.
They have a movie coming out in limited release called Mystery Team. Check out the trailer on youtube.
They have a movie coming out in limited release called Mystery Team. Check out the trailer on youtube.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Unneccessary Censorship - Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel decided to help the FCC clean up the airwaves by censoring random things on TV. It's awesome.
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Grapist - Whitest Kids You Know
Sorry...been busy lately. Check out this video and their other sketches.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Creeper smile - Hey, Baby
This guy is slick...try this while introducing yourself at a bar and see how far you get. If you're a girl...please don't laugh in the guy's face if he tries this.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
This is one of those defining flash animations on the Internet. Be prepared to watch it multiple times just for the catchy tune.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Some random pics
Just some funny pics till I have time to write a new post.
Pretty mean..but awesome.
Just a terrible joke:
Facebook users (aka everyone) will get it:
Keep reading for a few more good ones:
Pretty mean..but awesome.
Just a terrible joke:
Facebook users (aka everyone) will get it:
Keep reading for a few more good ones:
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Learn your lesson - don't post this on Facebook
Some people shouldn't be allowed to use social networking services...as entertaining as it is for us normal people.
And another one:
And another one:
Monday, March 15, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Tucker Max (www.tuckermax.com)
Tucker Max is a complete asshole and a womanizer. He cares only about himself, but just about everything he does is awesome. He drinks more than any normal human being should and loves to get "Tucker Max Drunk." He's living his life to the fullest and enjoying every second of it. His website is a log of his escapades, and he has a book titled I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell 
which includes more of his outrageous life.
He went to law school then said screw it and started a blog chronicling some big moments in his life. He's really one of the best writers I've come across (especially one who supposedly drinks as much as he does). Then he got a book deal and has a movie in the works, releasing soon.
Warning: His stories are NSFW (not safe for work). Definitely not safe for children.
One of his posts after the break:
which includes more of his outrageous life.He went to law school then said screw it and started a blog chronicling some big moments in his life. He's really one of the best writers I've come across (especially one who supposedly drinks as much as he does). Then he got a book deal and has a movie in the works, releasing soon.
Warning: His stories are NSFW (not safe for work). Definitely not safe for children.
One of his posts after the break:
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
A more traditional post this time with the spotlight on the best comedy on TV right now, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The characters are hilarious and outrageous and you'll find yourself laughing at the insane things they spew out of their mouths. They care only about themselves and put their self interest before anything else.
Start with season 1 and move on from there. Danny Devito joins the cast in season 2 and makes for a selfish father that you'll be happy isn't your own. They just finished season 5 and will begin production on season 6 shortly. Watch Season 4, episode 13 if you want to experience the what Sunny fans recognize as one of the defining moments of the series.
Check out a clip of my personal favorite, Charlie, going crazy.
Two more clips after the jump:
The characters are hilarious and outrageous and you'll find yourself laughing at the insane things they spew out of their mouths. They care only about themselves and put their self interest before anything else.
Start with season 1 and move on from there. Danny Devito joins the cast in season 2 and makes for a selfish father that you'll be happy isn't your own. They just finished season 5 and will begin production on season 6 shortly. Watch Season 4, episode 13 if you want to experience the what Sunny fans recognize as one of the defining moments of the series.
Check out a clip of my personal favorite, Charlie, going crazy.
Two more clips after the jump:
Peter Nguyen - a modern day Ernest Hemingway
Peter Nguyen. He is a man of many words, possibly real, but most likely fake. I don't think anybody is really this dumb. He embellishes the facts and makes crap up just so it sounds like he actually did some real research. I think we can all relate to that, though maybe not to the extent of his essays. When I read his essays back in high school, they inspired me to write as well as him.
More essays after the jump.
More essays after the jump.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The Wilhelm Scream
You've probably heard this scream in multiple places but never really realized why it sounded so familiar. I learned about it yesterday while watching a show on Hulu and thought it was funny enough to share.
The scream originated in the movie Distant Drums in 1951. It was originally the sound of a man being bitten by an alligator but it became much more than that in the future. It was used again in 1953 in the movie Charge at Feather River when the character, Wilhelm, is shot by an arrow. It was popularized later by Ben Burt who did all the Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies. Since then it has reportedly been used in over 150 movies and TV shows. The sound is usually used when someone explodes, gets shot, or stabbed.
Once you hear it, you'll never be able to unhear it.
The scream originated in the movie Distant Drums in 1951. It was originally the sound of a man being bitten by an alligator but it became much more than that in the future. It was used again in 1953 in the movie Charge at Feather River when the character, Wilhelm, is shot by an arrow. It was popularized later by Ben Burt who did all the Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies. Since then it has reportedly been used in over 150 movies and TV shows. The sound is usually used when someone explodes, gets shot, or stabbed.
Once you hear it, you'll never be able to unhear it.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Guy puts disillusioned douchebag in his place
If you have a few minutes to kill, read through this whole email exchange. So awesome.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
F*** My Life (www.fmylife.com)
You've probably heard people saying "FML" all over the place and have likely stumbled upon the website. If you haven't, there are some gems to be found. The site is updated periodically so there are always new idiots to laugh at. Some of their lives are really messed up but most of them are just stupid people doing stupid things.
A few good ones:
Browse the site for even more F'd up lives. www.fmylife.com
The makers of the site have compiled some of the best ones into a book for your offline reading pleasure:
A few good ones:
Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend's house to meet her parents. We were having a nice conversation and her mom then asked "What have you done recently that was great?" I replied without thinking "Your daughter." FML
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
Browse the site for even more F'd up lives. www.fmylife.com
The makers of the site have compiled some of the best ones into a book for your offline reading pleasure:
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Emails from an Asshole (www.dontevenreply.com)
This guy is an evil genius. He goes on craigslist and fucks around with innocent people, who are innocent, albeit incredibly stupid. He strings them along like a pro and pretty much redefined the prank call for the Internet generation. He's basically a craigslist troll, but an awesome one at that.
Hello,
I am very interested in your fridge. Is it still available? If so, how much would you charge to deliver it to my place in the city?
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
Yes mike it is still available. I will deliver it for an extra $50. where is your place located?
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
I want it delivered to my office on the 67th floor of the ********* Building on **rd st and **********. Now I am pretty sure that the fridge won't fit in the elevator, and if it does, it would exceed the weight capacity, so you will have to carry it up the stairs. I hope this won't be a problem.
When can you deliver it? I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and can be there any time. I do need it sooner rather than later, however.
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
that is absurd. Im not going to heave this very heavy fridge up 67 flights of stairs. Dosent your building have a cargo/utility elevator?
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office. They don't let just anyone use it anymore, so that isn't an option.
From marty ******* to Me
absolutely not. do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? why do you even need a full size fridge in your office? just buy one of those small mini fridges.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty,
You are obviously not a very good salesman if you are trying to suggest I buy something else instead of your product. How is that working out for you? Do you make a lot of money that way?
Not that it is any of your business, but I cannot afford rent in my apartment anymore and am slowly trying to move into my office so I can live out of there. I plan on disguising the fridge as a filing cabinet so my company will not get suspicious. If anyone asks you what you are doing when you are moving it into my office, just tell them that you are delivering my new filing cabinet. Try to tuck the power cord under the fridge so they don't realize that it is actually a fridge.
How does next Tuesday work? I am free all day.
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
mike I don't think you understood me. I am NOT delivering the fridge to your office. it's way too big and heavy, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to carry it up to the 67th floor.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty,
I'm sorry, I must have misread your ad. I could have sworn it said "will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee." Am I crazy, or did your ad say that?
I don't recall it saying "will be willing to deliver it as long as your building isn't too big and scary for my weak little body to carry it."
From marty ******* to Me
Hey listen asshole. You are a Fuckin idiot if you honestly think somebody will do this. It has nothing to do with strength it is just an insane request. the only way you will get a fucking fridge up there is with an elevator. fuck off.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty, I get what you are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with strength, because even my 120 lb ex-wife could carry this thing up. It is clearly a lack of motivation. You need to be in the right mindset to be able to do this.
Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words at you to keep you going. I'll say things like "c'mon Marty, you can do it! You're almost there!" and "don't give up!" I'll even bring a few bottles of Gatorade in case you get thirsty. What flavor do you want? I have frost and orange, but I really don't recommend orange because it doesn't even taste like Gatorade.
So see you Tuesday?
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
shut the fuck up.
________________________________________________________________________
The guy has a book coming out titled "Emails from an A**hole: Real People Being Stupid". Check it out.
Posted at: 2009-07-06 09:51:49
Original ad:
I bought this GE refrigerator a few years ago, but just got a new one for my kitchen and no longer need it. It still works perfectly and is very large, perfect as your main fridge for a kitchen. I'm asking $300 for it. I am located in Brooklyn, but will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee.
From Mike Partlow to ************@**********.orgI bought this GE refrigerator a few years ago, but just got a new one for my kitchen and no longer need it. It still works perfectly and is very large, perfect as your main fridge for a kitchen. I'm asking $300 for it. I am located in Brooklyn, but will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee.
Hello,
I am very interested in your fridge. Is it still available? If so, how much would you charge to deliver it to my place in the city?
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
Yes mike it is still available. I will deliver it for an extra $50. where is your place located?
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
I want it delivered to my office on the 67th floor of the ********* Building on **rd st and **********. Now I am pretty sure that the fridge won't fit in the elevator, and if it does, it would exceed the weight capacity, so you will have to carry it up the stairs. I hope this won't be a problem.
When can you deliver it? I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and can be there any time. I do need it sooner rather than later, however.
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
that is absurd. Im not going to heave this very heavy fridge up 67 flights of stairs. Dosent your building have a cargo/utility elevator?
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office. They don't let just anyone use it anymore, so that isn't an option.
From marty ******* to Me
absolutely not. do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? why do you even need a full size fridge in your office? just buy one of those small mini fridges.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty,
You are obviously not a very good salesman if you are trying to suggest I buy something else instead of your product. How is that working out for you? Do you make a lot of money that way?
Not that it is any of your business, but I cannot afford rent in my apartment anymore and am slowly trying to move into my office so I can live out of there. I plan on disguising the fridge as a filing cabinet so my company will not get suspicious. If anyone asks you what you are doing when you are moving it into my office, just tell them that you are delivering my new filing cabinet. Try to tuck the power cord under the fridge so they don't realize that it is actually a fridge.
How does next Tuesday work? I am free all day.
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
mike I don't think you understood me. I am NOT delivering the fridge to your office. it's way too big and heavy, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to carry it up to the 67th floor.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty,
I'm sorry, I must have misread your ad. I could have sworn it said "will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee." Am I crazy, or did your ad say that?
I don't recall it saying "will be willing to deliver it as long as your building isn't too big and scary for my weak little body to carry it."
From marty ******* to Me
Hey listen asshole. You are a Fuckin idiot if you honestly think somebody will do this. It has nothing to do with strength it is just an insane request. the only way you will get a fucking fridge up there is with an elevator. fuck off.
From Mike Partlow to marty *******
Marty, I get what you are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with strength, because even my 120 lb ex-wife could carry this thing up. It is clearly a lack of motivation. You need to be in the right mindset to be able to do this.
Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words at you to keep you going. I'll say things like "c'mon Marty, you can do it! You're almost there!" and "don't give up!" I'll even bring a few bottles of Gatorade in case you get thirsty. What flavor do you want? I have frost and orange, but I really don't recommend orange because it doesn't even taste like Gatorade.
So see you Tuesday?
Mike
From marty ******* to Me
shut the fuck up.
________________________________________________________________________
The guy has a book coming out titled "Emails from an A**hole: Real People Being Stupid". Check it out.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Why did I start this blog?
At first I wanted to berate people for having no sense of humor, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that was a stupid idea. Bringing readers content that is both hilarious and politically incorrect is my goal.
People who don't think these things are funny need to re-evaluate their lives:
-racist jokes
-blonde jokes
-penis jokes
-that's what she said jokes
-poop jokes
-dumb jokes
-retard jokes (Sarah Palin...this is for you..ahem...handicapped jokes)
Sure, everyone has a different sense of humor, but how hard would it be to laugh at something rather than saying "oh that's not even funny." Learn to laugh. And if a friend directs a joke at you, it's probably nothing to take personally. I've seen it happen too often where someone gets pissed and storms off, when there's really nothing to get mad about.
An uptight dickwad might tell you to "grow up" if you say anything that offends them, but ignore him and keep the jokes coming. (hah...coming?)
"You're so immature." Who's to judge if you're mature or immature? Just because some rich white guy in a suit thinks it's inappropriate to say certain things doesn't mean you have to listen (unless your job is on the line..then I suggest you listen).
You only get one life and living it in a shell isn't the way to live.
People who don't think these things are funny need to re-evaluate their lives:
-racist jokes
-blonde jokes
-penis jokes
-that's what she said jokes
-poop jokes
-dumb jokes
-retard jokes (Sarah Palin...this is for you..ahem...handicapped jokes)
Sure, everyone has a different sense of humor, but how hard would it be to laugh at something rather than saying "oh that's not even funny." Learn to laugh. And if a friend directs a joke at you, it's probably nothing to take personally. I've seen it happen too often where someone gets pissed and storms off, when there's really nothing to get mad about.
An uptight dickwad might tell you to "grow up" if you say anything that offends them, but ignore him and keep the jokes coming. (hah...coming?)
"You're so immature." Who's to judge if you're mature or immature? Just because some rich white guy in a suit thinks it's inappropriate to say certain things doesn't mean you have to listen (unless your job is on the line..then I suggest you listen).
You only get one life and living it in a shell isn't the way to live.
Bash.org - some of the funniest stuff you'll ever read
A friend in high school showed me this site: www.bash.org and I couldn't get enough of it. I read through the top 200 multiple times. After you read one, you'll want to read more, so here's a few of my favorites. It consists of hilarious quotes from IRC chatrooms (disclaimer: some contain geek-speak). I'm not even sure if some of them are real..but they're still hilarious. (disclaimer 2: some are NSFW)
Hey Mike
what?
Pussy.
er?
Pussy.
and?
Pussy.
...
Pussy.
i dont get it
AND YOU NEVER WILL.
bastard
I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
The girl started crying and left class ^^
wtf
ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh bouncy
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
omg its zack wtf: my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
check out the site if you want more random hilarious quotes. (www.bash.org)
You can rate your favorites up or down so they make the top 200 list.
Monday, March 8, 2010
The Count Censored
I used to watch Sesame Street all the time. I learned how to count from The Count. I would've learned how to laugh my ass off from him if I had seen this video when I was a kid.
Photograph Parody - Nickelback
Nickelback is hilarious. And they're not supposed to be a comedy troupe.
This parody embodies what a Nickelback song is about: yelling at the top of your lungs about nonsensical things.
If you want to hear the real song to see how accurate these guys are (it's not as good):
This parody embodies what a Nickelback song is about: yelling at the top of your lungs about nonsensical things.
If you want to hear the real song to see how accurate these guys are (it's not as good):
You have no sense of humor
A good friend once said, "you have no sense of humor" to another friend. The first friend was promptly slapped in the face. Some people just can't face the fact that their sense of humor sucks, plain and simple. Some people are too uptight for their own good and can't laugh at anything. Laughter is healthy. Laughing at funny things is even healthier.
I'm going to post stuff from various places on the Internet that you may or may not have ever seen or heard of. But I promise you, if you have even a sliver of humor, you'll find it funny. If you don't, then too bad. You just wasted a few minutes of your precious life reading/watching/looking at something hilarious. Go reevaluate your priorities in life and take that stick out of your ass if you can't even conjure up a chuckle. There is no money-back guarantee since it's free to read this blog. Happy laughing!
I'm going to post stuff from various places on the Internet that you may or may not have ever seen or heard of. But I promise you, if you have even a sliver of humor, you'll find it funny. If you don't, then too bad. You just wasted a few minutes of your precious life reading/watching/looking at something hilarious. Go reevaluate your priorities in life and take that stick out of your ass if you can't even conjure up a chuckle. There is no money-back guarantee since it's free to read this blog. Happy laughing!
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